Testing: "Ask and ye shall receive".

"Ask and ye shall receive" is somewhat of an old expression. I think it was in some old book or something.

I've never done anything like this before and I figured I would try it out. I'll keep this test simple.

My birthday is February 5. I was born in 1982. I will turn 29 this go round. Here's what I'm asking.

1) Send me patients. Refer your friends, family, waitress, bartender, co-workers, ANYONE. You nor they will be sorry.

2) Here's my Amazon Wish List. I made it simple. FYI: The hot plate and mixer are for making soap. (In a non-"Fight Club" sense.)

3) This would be nice, too.

or

4) Any combination of the three.

I won't be upset should nothing happen. I'm doing a scientific test here. Also, if you didn't know what I wanted, I definitely wouldn't get anything. On the other hand, should something come in the mail, I will be sure to show my gratitude.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Right? So, let the experiment begin.

"Productivity: The Art of Getting Things Done"

Well, here it is. I've finally finished writing this book and I'm making it public for the world to consume. Any feedback you have would be appreciated. I'd like to know what you think after reading it as well as any follow up information you'd like to share. I hope you enjoy and get some use out of this. Should you be too shy to comment directly, I made sure to allow appreciation to be giving via using the "Donate" button (slightly upward and to the right) as well as providing you with this link. Don't feel as though these two avenues can be used only in conjunction with your appreciation of this book. That isn't the case. You may use either or both for any reason including my upcoming February 5th birthday.

There is an option to read this in fullscreen for those wanting a more book-like, professional experience. Also, you can download and print the book. Again, let me know what you think. Enjoy.



Productivity: The Art of Getting Things Done

First Book. First Look.

I think I've strung this out long enough but it wasn't just to make you lose sleep. I promise. This just has taken a little longer to wrap up due to other projects taking the forefront and the never ending torture that is finishing a written project. Just when I think I have every idea written just so, each point is clear and concise, I walk away from it for a few days only to find that when I come back and reread the new edits, it's either crap or I think of 20 new points I want to make. So, to make up for dragging my feet and not finally posting a full copy of this book, I decided I would promise two things: I'll post the cover and announce a release date. As you can see, I've posted the cover. And to make good on both promises,  I'll have everything posted here within 7 days.

As promised, a book update.

I know you folks have been clamoring to find out what this book I've written is about. So, rather than keeping everyone in complete suspense, I'll let out a little more information. But don't be upset if I don't answer all of the hundreds of questions you must have. The complete version will be at your disposal very soon.


The tiny hint: This book will make your life better. I promise.


There it is. Now you have a little insight into what you can expect very soon. And with that, have a happy new year. Be safe and take care.

Much love.


P.S. It's written "New Year's Eve". Please mind the rules of apostrophes. If you don't, you'll be fined and have to pay the apostro-fees.

My book.

A New Project

I've taken the time to write a book. It's my first book. Well, I say book but it's completely digital. Yep. It's all zeros and ones.

I'll be publishing it in it's entirety on this blog come January. I hope to have it well received, but that really depends on you the reader.

Any guesses on the subject matter? Go ahead, guess.

WRONG!

Keep checking this blog for updates. I may be tempted to have a few things leak here and there.

Merry Christmas Eve.

JM

The (far less than) 100 Things that Disappear with 2010: Part XXIII: The Finale

Before I wrap up this ranting and raving with the final item on my list of loathsome social practices, I would like to first put things into perspective. This list I've created of all the things that will, as far as I'm concerned, expire at the end of this year isn't about suggesting a higher social status for myself or some sort of implication of elitism on my part. Additionally, this hasn't been an exercise in negativity or animosity. Sure, things bother me in special ways that few others can relate but I never thought that separated me from "common" people. If anything, I would imagine this lowered my status and increased the difficulty of my universal acceptance. So, rather than rambling on about what the point of this whole public exercise isn't, how about I remove the shroud to expose the true meaning of these blog posts?

Festivus. It's becoming very popular these days to celebrate December 23rd by exclaiming "Happy Festivus!" In fact, as this is being composed, festivus is a trending topic on Twitter.  But there is more to the alt-holiday Festivus. For instance, there is the Airing of Grievances. This year, I decided to air my grievances through this blog. And once I complete and post this final entry of my grievances, Festivus can begin and everyone can await the beginning of a very happy, peaceful New Year.

I don't know if there was any adieu from the start, but just in case there was, let's not further it any longer. The final item, please.

"Dane Cook is not funny."


He isn't. Accept that as fact. Of course, I fell in the trap as millions of others have. I thought he was clever and funny. As it turns out, he's an over-actor and a joke thief. He steals jokes! On top of all of that, he runs his material into the ground. Watch him on the nighttime talk shows. Night after night, he panders to the audience in a very childish way, tells obvious lies and fabricated stories, and repeats the same drivel again and again. Want proof of this stuff? I have it. I can proove he has stolen material from other famous comedians. Pleural, folks. Comedians. I have video clips of Dane acting like a clown on TV. Adding fuel to this fire is how he's just a dick. Just watch "Tourgasm" again. (If you can.) Watch him set up his friends to fail while making him look good. Watch him piss and moan about things that he doesn't like, the whiney bitch. I'm surprised that this font color hasn't turned red by sensing my disgust and anger.

The only way I could consider him as funny and/or clever is that he played a huge joke on America. He trickey-tricked us into thinking he was a fun-funny-fun-fun guy. A CO-median, if you will. (It hurts to even think of his voice as I try to type as he would.)  So, this is it. Dane Cook, I have grievances with you! And I must air them!

People, stop laughing at Dane Cook's jokes. If he didn't steal them, I highly doubt what he's saying in an actual joke. It's some exaggerated, fictitious, acted-out story filled with gyrations and sound effects. It's time to band together and fight this atrocity against comedy.

2010 response: I started fighting against the "Dane Train" and proving to people who this guy really is.
2011 response: I will never back down from proving to people that Dane is a hack. I'll have proof waiting on my phone for the ignorant to listen to. This madness has to end.

The (far less than) 100 Things that Disappear with 2010: Part XVIII - XXII

Here are just a few more saying that irk me. Some more than others, but that will all be a thing of the past. 2011 is going to be a very good year for my ears.

This is Part Two

"Get in the HOLE!"

I don't watch golf. And I don't believe anyone actually does outside of patrons of restaurants and bars. However, I do believe people to have televised golf playing while they nap. And why not? You'll be out like a light as soon as you turn on the PGA.....


Sorry, I seemed to have dozed off there for a second. Back to the typing.


If I ever hear someone say "Get in the hole!" following teeing off while playing, watching golf on TV or in person I will hit them. Such an event has never happened. But if it ever does....

2010 response:  No response. The closest I've ever been to someone say that is in my chair while watching "SportsCenter".

2011 response: Fisticuffs. 

"Simular"

Nope. That's not a typo. And if you haven't caught the error yet, be concerned. I am hearing people say "simular" more and more these days. People, the word is SIMILAR. You don't have to support me in all of my opinions or grievances, but please help me with this one. Stop letting people propitiate this simple mistake. To me, this is the spoken equivalent of watching "Pink Flamingos". It pains me. Deeply.

2010 response: Cringing.

2011 response: I will correct everyone I hear say "simular" unless I am getting paid not to do so. 

"I just threw up in my mouth."


First off, that's just gross. Go brush your teeth, sicko. When you get back, we'll talk about why you have to be disgusting in public. Oh, you weren't serious? You didn't actually mean it? I see. Well, "Dodgeball" came out in 2004. Don't tell me. You're kind of a big deal and you have many leather bound books, too. I thought so.


2010 response: I didn't do anything. Honestly, it doesn't bother me too much. It's just time to move on. It's been six years.


2011 response: I'll have pamphlets on the ready which discuss GERD in detail so as to help someone with their affliction.

"I'm not going to lie..."


When someone says this to me, I can't help but think that everything they said before without first prefacing that they indeed were not lying to me could possibly be a lie. Luckily, I am hearing this less often now. This could be due to the distinct possibility that I could actually be difficult to engage in conversation with.


Nah...


2010 response: "You're not? Oh, good." , "What about all the other things you said before?", or some other smart assed response.


2011 response: I may just disagree with the the person before they even finish their sentence. That, or I may just reply, "I might lie to you but..."

And the one that will be the hardest for me to alter my response...

"Literally"

I'm not going to quote a dictionary just to copy/paste the actual, LITERAL definition of the word. Everyone has access to the dictionary.com or the old fashioned version-an actual dictionary. 


This word should be used to establish a truth in an almost unbelievable situation. It should be used to ensure the listener or reader that although the circumstances may seem hyperbolic, it is quite the opposite. So saying you were literally just sitting there is overstating the obvious. I can't go in to how often 'literally' is used incorrectly. Thinking about this topic drains me. 


Also, if you are going to say the word make sure you pronounce the 't'. It isn't 'lideral'.


2010 response: I would comment whether or not the word was used properly.


2011 response: I'm giving it up. No more corrections or comments. If I hear it used incorrectly, I'll just pay attention less.